


I Just Had Sex

by InsightfulInsomniac



Series: dads!Klaine (aka the Adventures of the Anderson-Hummels and Co.) [23]
Category: Glee
Genre: Blam, Family game nights, Fluff, Gang’s All Here, Humor, M/M, Salton, christmas? Sorta, dads!Klaine, married!klaine, woop!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:48:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23730058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsightfulInsomniac/pseuds/InsightfulInsomniac
Summary: When Dalton and Sawyer are late to game night because of their... activities, Audrey decides to play a certain song to greet them when they come downstairs. It makes their lives a momentary hell, and to her, it’s incredible.She’s also definitely not above using the same song for her parents when they’re in the same situation.Fluff, humor and a visit from Sam Evans!
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Dalton Anderson-Hummel/Sawyer Montrose (OCs)
Series: dads!Klaine (aka the Adventures of the Anderson-Hummels and Co.) [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1364230
Comments: 9
Kudos: 87





	I Just Had Sex

**Author's Note:**

> This was totally inspired by a TikTok I saw where a mom did this to her daughter. I died, and immediately decided to write a fic based on it.
> 
> Also, credit to my parents for utilizing the “wrapping presents” excuse. Horrifyingly iconic.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> My Klaine kids:
> 
> 1\. Tracy  
> 2\. Audrey  
> 3\. and 4. Finn and Dalton (twins)

“Wasn’t family game night supposed to start, like, ten minutes ago?” Audrey asks as she strolls into the living room, finding her parents, Tracy, and Finn relaxing on the couches.

“It was,” Tracy agrees. “And what have you been doing for those ten minutes?”

Audrey rolls her eyes at her older sister, who’s clearly teasing her. “If you must know, I was finishing an essay for history. Are we still waiting on Dalton and Sawyer?”

Her pops nods, keeping his face neutral. “Yep. We are.”

“Should someone go get them?” Audrey asks slowly, and Finn snorts.

“Be my guest,” he quips, and Audrey looks back to her parents.

Kurt sighs. “We’re fairly certain that Dalton and Sawyer are... busy.”

“Oh my god,” Audrey sputters, laughing. “This is incredible!”

Finn eyes his sister confusedly. “We’re hoping they’ll be done soon — I heard the door slam shut awhile ago. Should I even ask why you’re excited?”

“You’ll see,” she grins, connecting her phone to the Bluetooth speakers, pulling up a very specific song, and waiting.

No more than five minutes pass when the family hears rapid footsteps on the stairs. Audrey raises an eyebrow as the boys round the corner and presses play.

The reaction is instantaneous. As soon as the two boys hear the first few words of Lonely Island’s “I Just Had Sex,” they’re both blushing bright red and visibly cringing.

“Oh my god, no,” Dalton slaps a hand over his mouth, scrubbing it over his face in embarrassment.

Sawyer merely lets out a pained, mortified squeak, turning himself away from his boyfriend’s family as they all laugh hysterically, including Kurt and Blaine.

“Audrey!” Dalton manages through his embarrassment, unable to hold back his giggles as she waves her phone in his direction, clearly displaying the song that’s playing. “Really?”

She shrugs. “You were late to game night.”

Blessedly, she finally stops the song and lessens the couple’s torture — albeit only slightly, as the damage is done.

“Sorry?” Dalton offers sheepishly, bravely meeting his parents’ eyes.

“There’s no need to apologize,” Blaine counters, standing and crossing the room to the boys. “We’d rather you do it here and be safe than have you be unsafe somewhere else.”

He then pulls his son into a hug, pressing a kiss to his hair. “We’re always here to love and support you. And you too, Sawyer.”

Once he releases Dalton, he gives Sawyer a hug as well, and while it does nothing to quell the redness in his cheeks, it at least gets him to look at them again.

“And you’re old enough, it’s normal, there’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Kurt adds, joining Blaine with the boys. “Just next time, remember when game night’s supposed to start.”

“Will do,” Dalton mumbles, but follows his dads to the dining table, their usual game night location.

As they all settle into the dining room, Finn pats Sawyer on the back in passing, and Dalton looks on in horror as his twin brother gives his boyfriend a thumbs up.

“Oh my god,” he groans, laying his head on the table in despair. “Why must you be this way? You just looked like a douche.”

Blaine stifles a laugh from across the table, seeing his husband do the same next to him.

“Sawyer’s my buddy! He’s my teammate,” Finn jokes, feigning nonchalance.

“I’m your brother,” Dalton deadpans, and Finn shrugs.

“Okay, here’s a thumbs up for you too!”

Dalton glares at his twin as he smiles cheekily and flashes him a thumbs up from across the table.

“Tracy, you’re my favorite sibling now.”

“I’ll take it!”

******

“Hey, Uncle Sam!” Tracy greets as she opens the door wider for him to come in. “Dad and Pops didn’t say you were stopping by.”

“Well, I was coming back from work and thought I’d pop in to say hi,” he explains, giving his niece a hug. “Your Aunt Mercedes also wants me to grab the book of sheet music she lent your dads a little while ago. Kurt told her they were done copying it.”

“Oh, yeah, I know exactly which one you mean,” she replies. “It’s in the living room with the piano.”

Sam follows Tracy further into the house, greeting his other niece and nephews when they walk into the living room. “Hey, y’all. How’s it going?”

“I’m personally drowning in schoolwork,” Finn responds, and Dalton groans from where he’s sprawled out on the opposite couch. 

“Me too. But I’m ignoring all my problems right now.”

Audrey raises her hand, not even looking up from her phone. “I second that!”

Sam snorts. “Our household is in the same boat. But Christmas is almost here!”

He whoops excitedly, grinning as his nieces and nephews laugh. “Hey, are your parents here? Blaine would kill me if I didn’t say hi when I dropped by.”

Tracy rolls her eyes as Finn laughs shortly. “They’re here.”

“But they went upstairs to _“wrap presents”_ an hour ago,” Audrey raises an eyebrow, gesturing with air quotes. “We’re all praying that they’ll be done soon.”

“Oh. Is that a code word?” Sam asks, unable to fight back a grin. “Gotcha. I understand.”

“They don’t think we know,” Dalton pipes up. “But we do.”

“They normally just announce it,” Tracy relays. “It’s really horrifying. But suddenly, because it’s Christmas, even the ways they voluntarily scar their children have to be festive.”

Sam laughs. “Oh my god, that’s genius. I might have to steal that one some time.”

“Uncle Sam, no,” Tracy sighs exasperatedly behind a smile.

“Okay, okay. You said you think they’ll be done soon?” He asks, and Finn shrugs.

“We hope so. Probably.”

“I’ll wait, then, if that’s okay,” Sam decides, and Audrey merely scoots over to give him a spot on the couch.

Ten minutes later, they hear a door upstairs open and shut, and Audrey nudges Sam. “Get ready.”

“For what?”

As soon as Kurt and Blaine come into view, an unfortunately familiar song begins to echo throughout the room. Kurt simply rolls his eyes exaggeratedly while Blaine groans, unable to hide his grin.

From the moment he heard the first few seconds of “I Just Had Sex,” Sam lost it. Tears rolling down his face, Sam nearly rolls off of the couch with the force of his laughter.

“Sam, oh my god,” Blaine laughs. “Breathe! What are you doing here?”

“I came — to get — the music book,” he wheezes between laughs. “But the kids told me you were _wrapping presents_.”

“We were,” Kurt counters weakly, crossing his arms. “We warned them so they wouldn’t come in and see the presents.”

“Uh huh,” Tracy quips, and Blaine, true to himself, is doing an absolutely terrible job at hiding the supposed secret.

“I’ve known you both for over twenty years,” Sam retorts. “And Blaine loves Christmas, but he is way too happy to have just been _wrapping presents_.”

“Yeah, Dad. Its perfectly normal, you’re old enough,” Dalton recites cheekily, and Kurt scoffs amusedly.

“You know I have to power to ground you.”

“Mm hm,” Dalton replies, turning his attention back to his phone.

“Anyway,” Sam grins. “I have my book, I’ve said hi, and so I think I’m going to be on my way.”

“Tell Mercedes and the kids we said hi,” Kurt replies. “And thanks for letting us borrow the book.”

“Will do,” Sam nods, standing and giving both husbands a hug in passing. “I love you all!”

“Love you too, Uncle Sam!” Audrey calls back. “Don’t spend too much time wrapping presents!”

“Oh my god,” Kurt groans as Sam flashes her a set of finger guns, and Blaine can’t help but laugh.

“You can unwrap me anytime,” Blaine teases, leaning in close to his husband’s ear.

Kurt raises an eyebrow. “I think it’s a little suspicious to wrap presents twice in one night.”

Blaine shrugs. “Maybe we can put up a tree in our room instead. And decorate it.”

“That’s a few hours worth of work,” Kurt smirks. “I approve.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading, commenting, and supporting my fics! It really means the world, and I hope they’ve brought you a little joy during this difficult time!
> 
> Find me on Instagram: @insightful.insomniac
> 
> Find me on tumblr: @zigxzag-klaine


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